What Can Make Me Cry, Cry and Then Cry Some More?

What can make me cry, cry and then cry some more? Well let me go back to when we thought there might be something out of the ordinary. Back when I had finished painting my kitchen cupboards white, I asked Aaron what he thought about them. He honestly told me he thought they were a little too white. At hearing this I immediately burst into tears. That is NOT like me as it usually takes a lot to get me to cry. That's when we thought something might be up. A few days later this is what we found out:

Yep, this is just two of the MANY tests I took and I still don't believe it. Aaron and I had come to the conclusion our family was complete after Sarah--the home birth seemed to seal that deal. Aaron said it would take a miracle for us to decide to have another baby. I guess Heavenly Father has other plans for us. This came as a total unplanned surprise. I thought we would spread the news as I am nearing the end of my first trimester. We had our first appointment and we got to see the baby and see it's little flutter of a heart beat. To tell the truth I still don't believe it as I don't feel any different--no morning sickness or anything. I probably won't believe it until I am holding the baby for the first time--hopefully in the hospital this time around where I will have access to a glorious epidural. Me and natural child birth don't seem to go together very well. And I have cried almost every day since for some reason or another or for no reason at all. I have cried tears of joy, excitement, feeling overwhelmed, the unknown, for no reason at all, but NEVER tears of sadness. However earlier this week I tried to take all four kids grocery shopping by myself and it didn't turn out very well. All the kids had a screaming contest inside the store and they all won by my standards. By the time I got home I was crying real tears of "I can't even handle taking four kids grocery shopping alone, how am I going to handle taking five?!?" I have never been so tearful during a pregnancy before. Aaron doesn't quite know how to handle all the tears yet--neither do I for that matter. If you start talking to me and see tears well up, it's just the pregnancy. I am not sad I just have really leaky tear ducts right now. We are excited to welcome the new baby--and for Sarah's sake I hope it's a girl or she will be surrounded by boys. I am due in May, but the doctor will induce me early to try and avoid the home birth thing. Aaron got that straight on our first appointment. I don't think Aaron could handle another surprise home birth. So here's to our upcoming newest addition--we are only about six months away from meeting. Don't get us wrong we are excited, but still in the surprise, shock phase. I never thought I would have 5 kids...crazy how things work!!!